


Searching for a Wish

by Indigo_warlock



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Minor Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Non-Canonical Character Death, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 21:18:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 14,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigo_warlock/pseuds/Indigo_warlock
Summary: Percy takes what little time he has left to honor his friend's final request.





	1. Lost Among Them

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Critical Role fanfiction! Yay! That said, I did my best to write this in a way that would make sense at any set point in the campaign. Now, since you clicked the link to get here...prepare for angst!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vox Machina fight for their lives against a menace much stronger than they had anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

“Get down!” Percy shouted as an arrow whizzed past, missing Vax by inches. Vax spun around, slashing foes with his daggers and giving Percy a nod of thanks. Their goal had seemed simple at the start: eliminate the dangerous creatures that haunt the caves surrounding a small town. It was nothing they hadn't done before. Vox Machina had traveled throughout the multiverse, besting every challenge they met. Naturally, they assumed that their luck would continue, because it always had.

They assumed wrong.

Percy fired shot after shot from Pepperbox, aiming for the heads of the shadowy monsters. Their somewhat humanoid forms seemed to change shape constantly, secreting a dark purple glow from their arcane nature. One of them swiped at Percy with its claws, sharpened to a point. He ducked just in time, feeling the wind of the blow by his ear. 

Vox Machina had entered the caves expecting a small skirmish, not a life or death battle. Ill prepared, their party had split, breaking into fractions as each person desperately fought for a way out of the ambush. The gnomes had fled west, Pike guiding Scanlan past deadly beasts. Vex did what she could to protect Trinket from the hail of knives raining down upon him as they advanced east. Grog had fled south with a living but injured Keyleth in his arms.

Percy and Vax faced the main assault in the north, watching each other’s backs, buying time for their friends to make it to freedom.

A beam of crimson light zapped the ground near Percy’s feet, disintegrating the stone. He took a glance at Vax, who gestured to move forward. The two continued shooting and stabbing their way through the enemy forces. A light gleamed at the end of the cave, a faint hope in the face of despair, and they made their way towards it. A fireball slammed into the rock wall across from them. In the split second before it exploded, its light shone on Vax’s eyes, and Percy could see that the fear reflected there echoed his own. They continued on anyway, slowly but surely forging a way out. Percy could only hope the others had escaped safely. The thought crossed his mind as he and Vax leaped through the opening in the stone. Percy gave one of the rocks a firm shove, causing the opening to collapse in on itself. The enraged cries of his surviving monsters pierced his ears, but he didn't care. Percy let out a laugh of joy, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkling as a smile lit up his face.

“We did it, Vax! We made it!” Percy grinned at the caved-in wall that sealed in their enemies.

“Yeah...we did.” Vax mumbled in a faint voice from behind him.

Percy turned to look at his friend and gasped at the sight.

Blood seeped from multiple stab wounds in Vax’s chest. His skin faded to an even more pale color, and his eyes filled with sorrow. And yet, he smiled. Blood coated his lips, but the smile shone with beauty anyway. He staggered a few paces to Percy’s side before his legs crumpled beneath him. Percy caught him as he fell.

“Vax!” Percy’s eyes widened as he realized the gravity of the situation. Instinctively, he searched the area for Pike, but saw no one. He felt through his pockets rapidly, hoping for just one potion, something, anything-

“Percy.” Vax coughed weakly. “No.”

Percy hesitated. “What?”

“I can see her...the Raven Queen.” Vax’s eyes started to focus on something beyond him. “She says it's my time.”

“Well, forget her! You have me. You have Vox Machina. You have so much to live for, Vax!” Percy held his friend close to him. His blood soaked his coat, but he didn't care.

“It’s been an honor.” Vax continued faintly. “I have no regrets...only one request. Please, Percy...look after them. Look after my sister.”

Percy nodded. Tears filled his eyes and streaked down his cheeks, and he didn't bother to hide them. “I promise.” His voice broke. “It doesn't have to be this way. I'll get a healer. We can bring you back.”

“Sorry, Percy.” Vax gazed up at him softly. “Not this time. She needs me...on the other side.”

Percy broke into a sob. He couldn't help it. His best friend was dying and he couldn't do anything to stop it. “I won't accept this. I can't do this! Not without you.”

“Ah, but Percy…” Vax gave him his signature smirk and spoke the words that would stay with his friend for the rest of his days. “I will always be there to guide you.” And then the light left his eyes, and the body grew still and cold in Percy’s arms.


	2. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy makes a promise to Vex at her brother's funeral.

Percy reunited with the rest of Vox Machina at their place in the town. He ignored the stares directed at him, carrying the body as carefully as he could. He tried his best to prepare himself for what he knew would come.

Nothing could prepare him for the heartbroken tears of Vex’ahlia.

Vox Machina stood in somber silence, Percy meeting their eyes one by one. He tried to apologize, to explain, but no sound escaped his throat. Grog clenched his fists and shook. Pike buried her face in Scanlan’s shoulder, and he held her close in response. Keyleth held her breath, fighting back tears. And Vex...legs buckled beneath her. She fell to the ground, weeping, unwilling to look at the broken body of her brother.

Percy couldn't remember how long they stood there in their grief. He couldn't remember how long it took for Vex’s eyes to run dry, and for Grog to take the body from his arms.

“We should bury him.” The goliath mumbled after what seemed an eternity. He held the body gently, as if he feared hurting his friend even beyond death.

“I...I know a place.” Keyleth’s voice came out in a whisper.

And in a flash of magic, they were there. They stood in a sunny clearing in the middle of a beautiful forest. No birds chirped from the treetops. No breeze rustled the branches. It seemed as if the whole forest held its breath, waiting.

“He always liked it here.” Keyleth forced a smile. “He said...maybe when the fighting stopped...we could live here together.” Keyleth did her best to her composure. She took a shaky breath and wiped fresh tears from her eyes.

No one spoke as they laid their friend to rest. They stood, hand in hand, unwilling to let go for a long, long time.

Pike murmured a prayer. Percy recognized the language as Celestial. May the light of Sarenrae forever illuminate your path. We will love and miss you, Vax. Always. Percy thought the words very fitting.

“He always helped me when I felt sad.” Keyleth forced a laugh. “He would cheer me up with his stupid practical jokes until I’d doubled over laughing.”

“I remember those pranks.” Scanlan grinned a little. “They were even better when he was drunk!”

“It was fun to go drinking with him.” Grog relaxed a little as the memories came rushing back.

“He made me smile.” Vex said it simply and softly. 

“He said-” Percy paused, hesitating before his next words. “The last thing he said to me...he would always be there to guide me.”

The group stayed by the grave for the rest of the night, trading stories about good times and bad, every story highlighting Vax’ildan in all his glory. Percy remained quiet as he listened. If he concentrated, the thought he could hear Vax’s voice, his last words-

Vex rested her head on his shoulder. Her eyes glistened in the starlight, pools of sorrow reaching for his soul. Percy held her close and stroked her hair, murmuring words of comfort in her ear, both for her benefit and his.

“It hurts.” She whimpered.

“I know.” He gritted his teeth, recalling Vax’s strained voice and bloodstained clothes. He didn't deserve that pain.

“How.” Vex spoke firmly, with dedication. “How did it happen?”

Percy couldn't tell her. Telling her would make it real. She doesn't deserve this pain. But he owed her this much. She lost her brother. She had a right to know. “Your brother...he fought with me, against the bulk of the army. And I did my best to protect him, but it wasn't enough…” His voice trailed off and he took a few seconds to collect himself. “He was stabbed just before we made it out. He was stabbed so many times-” He broke down sobbing. He held Vex and she held him in return as they cried together.

“Stay with me.” Vex looked into his eyes. “Please.”

“I will, Vex.” Percy gave her a small kiss on her forehead. “I promise.” The two cuddled together, eyes drifting to the sky and the infinite realms that lay beyond, searching for a comet or meteor or shooting star- searching for a wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me a while to work through, but I hope it turned out okay. My apologies if I made you cry.


	3. Their Way of Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each member of Vox Machina copes with grief in their own way.
> 
> For Percy, this means indulging Vex when she gets a little tipsy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: implied smut in this chapter and the next.

Percy awoke on the cold ground with the warmth of Vex’ahlia curled against his side. He gently pried himself from her arms and took in the scene around him. The rest of Vox Machina still slept. Percy avoided looking at the earth where they had buried his friend the night before, instead looking up at a cloudless sky and the rising sun. For just a moment, he could pretend that this was just an ordinary day and that when his friends woke up, Vax would wake up with them.

And then his vision changed, becoming spotted with darkness. A sense of overwhelming pain filled his chest and he doubled over coughing, unable to catch a breath. He held himself up, shaking, feeling his consciousness slipping away-

“Percy?” 

The sensation vanished and Percy inhaled sharply as the pain receded. He looked to his left and saw Pike, healing magic pouring from her fingertips. Her face twisted with concern, her usual smile for once failing her.

“Thank you, Pike.” He rasped, his voice trembling.

“Percy, what's wrong?” She asked gently.

“I...don't know. I felt fine, and then....” His voice trailed off. “I'm sure it's nothing; just a lingering wound from the battle.”

Pike bit her lip nervously and looked away. “Has this happened before?”

“No, just today.” His eyes met hers. Percy didn't consider himself the most insightful person around, but he could easily detect the quiver in her voice, the reluctance to meet his gaze. Pike was hiding something.

“Good.” Pike physically relaxed, her smile returning. “I'm glad you're okay, Percy. Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.” Percy didn't pry, but the thought nagged at his mind. Pike never kept secrets from the group. She did her best to stay open and honest with everyone, always. So why is she holding back now?

“Percy, Pike!” A baritone voice boomed from behind him, causing him to jump. Grog Strongjaw clapped a goliath hand on his shoulder.

“Hello, Grog.” Percy greeted him as pleasantly as he could. He pushed his grief and worries away for the time being. He had to stay strong for his family; he couldn't afford any weakness.

“Ugh. Grog, you just HAD to yell, DIDN’T YOU?” Scanlan muttered, sitting up from where he had slept on the ground a few feet away.

Looking around, Percy could see the rest of Vox Machina waking up at the volume of Grog’s voice. Grog shrugged. “Sorry. Just couldn't sleep.” He sighed sadly. “Don't think I'll be sleeping for awhile.”

“I need a drink. Something to get my mind off things. You comin’?” Scanlan asked, patting Grog’s hand. Grog nodded in response.

“There's a few things I need to take care of in town.” Pike’s gaze lingers on Percy for a moment. “Some supplies I'll need.”

“I'm going to stay here for now.” Keyleth stared at the grave, unwilling to move.

Silence.

“I'm with Scanlan and Grog. I need a drink.” Vex spoke for the first time that morning, her voice hoarse and broken.

Percy glanced at Keyleth, thinking of staying to comfort her, but decided against it. She needed time alone. “I'll stay with you, Vex.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Vex’s mouth as she remembered his promise to her the night before.

And so the group went their separate ways, grief festered in their hearts.

The strong smell of alcohol greeted Percy as he entered the tavern with his friends. The few people inside cast sideways glances at them, no doing recognizing them as the legendary heroes of Exandria.

Some heroes they were. They couldn't even keep their friend alive.

“Four mugs of ale, please.” Scanlan spoke to a female bartender, for once lacking his usual flirtatious attitude. Instead, he kept his head down and stared at the hard wood floor. The bartender frowned but complied, and she set their drinks on the counter before them.

The group sat and drank, taking turns making comments on the drinks occasionally, no heart behind their words. Percy remembered how Vax would act when tipsy, with a smug smirk and simple charm as he slurred stupid jokes and made everyone laugh. Unlike Percy, his antics defined him as the life of the party. No wonder the tavern lights seemed to dim without him.

A moment passed, and the ground seemed to sway under his feet. A burning sensation worked its way up his throat and dizziness overtook him. A sharp pain stabbed at his chest, and for the second time that day, darkness filled his vision and his breathing slowed-

A soft hand on his shoulder. “Percy.” Vex’s voice broke through the pain and snapped him out of his daze. “Are you alright?”

“Fine, fine. Just a few too many drinks is all.” He let out an empty laugh, Pike’s words drifting back to him. 

“I could use a few more drinks myself.” Vex called the bartender over. “Another!” The alcohol tinted her cheeks a rosy pink, and Percy tried his best not to stare. He watched Vex down another mug with Scanlan, the latter so intoxicated he could hardly stay awake. 

Grog sighed. “I'll take my buddy back home. You two look after yourselves, yeah?” He lifted Scanlan in his arms. The gnome let out a whine of protest but did not resist. Grog carried him out of the tavern, leaving Percy and Vex alone together with only their ale to keep them company.

Vex took another swig of her drink, then slammed the mug down back onto the counter. Her eyes glazed over, the alcohol starting to affect her. She slid a hand up Percy’s arm and rested it on his shoulder. “Hey.” She leaned in towards him until their faces were inches apart and he could smell the booze on her breath.

Percy, significantly less drunk than the half-elven woman beside him, moved back. “Vex’ahlia!”

Vex chuckled. “Enjoying your drink?”

“Not as much as you, obviously.”

“And what would you enjoy more?” Vex winked. Her breath felt warm against his face.

“Vex, stop this. You've had too much to drink.” He eyed her cautiously.

“So?” She sighed. “It hurts. Drinking helps, but it can’t save me, not like you can. I need you, Percy. I need you tonight.” Vex pleaded, leaning in closer.

A pang of grief pierced Percy’s heart. A part of him knew that no alcohol, no matter how strong, could quell this pain. He let go of his hesitations and thoughts. This was for Vex. Just for tonight. “Perhaps we could go somewhere more private.”

Besides, they were both at least a little drunk, and Percy wasn't in his right mind to say no.

“I’d like that.”

Percy lead her to the tavern’s back room, a place private and isolated enough to provide them an uninterrupted experience.

As soon as the door shut, Vex slammed Percy against the wall and kissed him aggressively. She pinned him, arms snaking around his back to remove his shirt. Percy allowed her to take the lead, a blush creeping into his cheeks. He kissed her neck softly, grinning at the taste of her skin.

Percy remembered what happened next only in brief flashes when the pleasure wasn't overwhelming him. He remembered Vex with her clothes off, Vex pushing him to the ground, Vex straddling him with lust in her eyes. 

He didn't remember falling asleep on top of her body, without any clothes on, pleasuring himself in the warmth of her skin.


	4. What They Did After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy wakes up with in the tavern's back room with a hangover and a certain someone.
> 
> He's a master tinkerer, and he can kill the toughest monsters, but he doesn't know how to handle Vex's sudden proximity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we move forward with the plot!

Percy woke up to find himself lying naked on the floor, a sleeping Vex’ahlia on top of him. 

He decided his splitting headache was the least of his problems.

He rolled over slowly, carefully, so he wouldn't wake her. She’s perfect. His gaze lingered on her for a moment until he forced himself to look away. He picked up his pants and pulled them on. As he pulled them up, he heard a feminine gasp. Vex’s eyes opened.

She sat up quickly, taking in her surroundings. “Percy?” She covered her more sensitive areas with her arms, blushing. “We didn't...tell me we didn't…”

“I think we did.” He admitted. “I'm sorry, I should have done more to resist.”

Vex crossed the room and pulled her clothes on. Percy looked away and started to button up his shirt, the fabric wrinkled in his hands.

“No, I'm the one who should apologize.”

Percy paused.

“I shouldn't have forced myself on you. It was wrong of me to do so, and I am so sorry, Percy.” Vex ran a hand through her tangled hair as she waited for a response.

“Well,” Percy confessed, “At least my first time wasn't with a complete stranger.”

“Well.” Vex walked to Percy and placed her hands on his cheeks, turning his face to level with hers. “I must say I feel the same, my Percival.” She stepped back to let him finish dressing himself. “Though perhaps we shouldn't tell the others. Vax would slap you so hard if he knew you had-” Her words fell apart as the realization hit her: her brother would never know, because he had died, because he had to play the role of the hero who saved everyone and paid the price for it.

Percy held her close, breathing in the scent of her hair. “He told me to look after you, and I will honor his request. If I can do anything for you, Vex, anything at all, just say the word and consider it done. I will not leave your side. I will protect you with all of my heart, I swear it.”

“T-thank you.” Vex sobbed, burying her head in Percy’s chest and pressing her nails into his shirt. He held her, whispering words of comfort when he could, pushing aside his own tears for the sake of the woman beside him.

The moment ended. Fully dressed, the two made their way out of the tavern. They walked in silence to the house, their heads down to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Percy noticed the sullen mood of the people they passed in the streets. They know he's not coming back. He opened the wooden door for Vex to step inside before following. The door closed with an audible creak, notifying the rest of Vox Machina to their presence.

The group gathered around a table in the sitting room of the house. They appeared to involve themselves in the middle of a tense discussion, hushed voices and somber faces. They stopped abruptly as Percy guided Vex inside. Keyleth rushed to them, wrapping each of them in a hug.

“Where have you been?! We were worried sick!” She exclaimed. Percy could see the tracks of tears on her face.

Percy spoke up when his companion didn't respond. “We needed some time. I'm sure you can understand.”

Keyleth nodded slowly. “Fine.”

“We’ve been discussing our next move. Care to join us?” Scanlan eyed the two of them suspiciously, giving Percy a slight smirk.

He knows. Percy hoped and prayed that Scanlan would remain silent about the matter. He's experienced, of course he knows!

Vex didn't pick up on Scanlan’s gesture, instead joining the group sitting attentively around the table. Percy followed suit, pulling up a chair next to her. Thankfully, Scanlan stayed quiet, though Percy knew he would have to endure his teasing later.

He looked at each of his friends in turn. “What have we missed?”

“We’re talking ‘bout how we're gonna crush those guys that did this to us!” Grog slammed a fist down against the table, causing everyone to jump. “Oops...sorry.”

“It's alright, Grog.” Pike didn't look at Grog. Instead, she gave Percy a meaningful look with untold emotion in her eyes. Percy felt a chill travel up his spine. What is she hiding?

“The Shadowed- er, that's what we chose to call them- haven't left the caves, according to the reconnaissance I did earlier.” Keyleth informed them. She inhaled deeply, visibly shaking. “We need a plan. I don't want to go back there, but we don't have a choice.” Percy saw how she struggled to hold herself together and remorse flooded his heart yet again.

“They killed my brother.” Vex growled. “They'll pay for that.” She gripped her bow firmly with the strength of a seasoned hunter. 

“We can't take them on all at once, obviously. And from our previous sources, we know that their magic doesn't occur naturally.” Percy thought out loud. “Do we know the source of their arcane power? If we could destroy it, the whole army would collapse.”

Keyleth nodded. “There's a crystal in the center of their camp. I saw the arcane energy pouring out of it. If we break the crystal-”

“We can win!” Grog exclaimed. He hunched over the table, trembling with barely withheld rage. “I'll rip them limb from limb for what they've done!”

“Then it's settled. We move out at dawn.” Vex stood up. “And together, we’ll burn them to the ground.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you enjoyed those shipping moments. I tried to lighten the mood a little, but I'm not sure I succeeded...Anyway, prepare for more angst and a bit of combat moving forward!


	5. Raiding the Caves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vox Machina return to the caves to finish their mission and avenge one of their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write. I enjoy writing battle scenes, even though they don't always end up great.

Vox Machina worked their way through the narrow tunnels of the caves, aiming for a stealthy ambush. No one spoke a word. They concentrated on completing their mission, knowing that they had no time for any distractions. They needed to strike swiftly and escape before the army became aware of their presence.

Keyleth lead the group with a torch in hand. Vex and Percy followed close behind, then Pike, Scanlan, and Grog. Their footsteps echoed harshly in the deathly quiet of the caves. Percy’s heart beat a mile a minute, pounding heavily, but he pushed his nerves aside. He needed to have courage, for Vox Machina, specifically Vex. He kept a close eye on her, unwilling to let her out of his sight. 

They separated when the tunnel split, each person going their own way. Percy carried on, reviewing the plan in his mind. He gave up when his memories refused to leave him alone. Vax and I killed one of their commanders here. He looked so satisfied as he thanked me. Percy closed his eyes. Three seconds to grieve. Then I need to move on. Three...two…

A blood-curdling scream snapped him out of his trance. Percy sprinted down the tunnel, breathing hard, until it opened into the largest area of the caves where the large crystal resided. Where Vax and I fought off the main army. He noticed the shadow creatures, hundreds of them, gathered in orbital rows around the crystal sticking out of the ground. How do they know…? Psychic powers. Of course. They appeared to wait for something, unaware of the gunslinger watching them. Percy searched for the rest of Vox Machina, but saw no one, no one who could have screamed like that.

Am I losing my mind?

He realized the screaming had been his own.

He took deep breaths, trying to clear his head. He waited for the rest of Vox Machina, unwilling to take action without them. Silence filled the caves. One by one, his friends found him. They united and huddled together by the tunnel entrance. They allowed themselves to take a moment standing there, hand and hand, as Pike spoke a blessing over their mission. Percy felt an aura of strength wash over him, and he grinned. 

And then they attacked.

Percy pulled out Bad News, the gun heavy in his hands. Vex readied her bow and gave him a nod. As one, they took shot after shot at the crystal as the rest of the group charged the army. Grog rushed ahead and swung his hammer with purpose, releasing his rage. Keyleth transformed into her elemental form. Scanlan stayed close to Pike, defending her from all oncoming blows.

“It's not working!” Vex cried out as her arrow struck true, then bounces off harmlessly.

Percy heard the desperation in her voice. He knew that they needed to complete the mission as quickly as possible, for her sake. He blasted a charged shot from Bad News at the crystal. A crack had formed in its structure, but it still stood complete in the center of the room. “Change of plans.” Percy switched guns, twirling Pepperbox with his fingertips. “Stay here. I'm going in.”

Percy dashed into the fray, dodging the swing of a sword as he did so. Turning, he fired a headshot at a wizard-like creature aiming a spell at Keyleth. The creature fell, vanishing into the hoard. Percy concentrated on the crystal’s arcane light as he fought his way there. Grog cleared a path for him with his various weapons of destruction. One by one, the creatures fell before them. Grog grinned and slammed his hammer into the ground, knocking prone a group of fighters that had closed the distance towards him. Percy ducked under the flow and raced ahead. The crystal grew closer, and Percy noticed for once its immense size. Undaunted, Percy raised Pepperbox and fired his strongest shot yet.

Boom.

The energy of the exploding crystal shot out at him, throwing him backwards off his feet. He hit the ground hard, tasting iron as blood filled his mouth. He tried to get up, but his limbs fell slack against his body as a sharp pain shot through his stomach. A short glance at it and Percy thought he might vomit. A huge shard of the crystal had embedded itself in his gut, splattered with his blood, which poured out of the wound at an alarming rate. He cried out in horror, squeezing his eyes shut, holding onto the foolish hope that someone would save him.

But nobody came.

Percy considered giving up. The pain overcame him and his vision grew dark. A thought crossed his mind briefly. "I could die here. I could…” 

He couldn't. He hadn't kept his promise. Vex needed him. He had sworn to look after her and never leave her. Percy held no intention of breaking his promises. Gritting his teeth, he wrapped his hands around the crystal shard and, in one decisive motion, lifted it out of his body. It fell to the side, clattering against the ground.

“Percy!” Vex rushed to his side, terror evident on her face. “No...no!” 

“I'm alright, Vex.” He choked the words out, each syllable stabbing at his throat.

She wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “Thank the gods! We’ve weakened the army with the crystal’s destruction; the enemy retreats as we speak.” Vex wiped a dirty hand across her eyes to dry her tears. “I thought…”

“Percy?” Pike leaned over him and pressed her hands over his wounds. Magic flowed from them into his body, and Percy relaxed as it healed his injuries. 

Clarity returned to his mind and he saw Vox Machina standing together (with Keyleth back in her usual elven form) above where he lay. “Hello.” He stood up and brushed the dirt off his coat. 

Pike sighed. “That's it, then. We did it.” Everyone else smiled, but the cleric did not. “Let's get out of here before they regroup.”

Vox Machina headed out of the caves, triumphant yet broken, recalling bittersweet memories as their past came back to haunt them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, it gets worse later on :)


	6. What's Wrong with Percy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy learns that he'll be seeing Vax sooner than he had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit short, sorry.

“We need to talk.” Pike sat next to Percy in her room. She refused to meet his eyes, and her own filled with tears, thought she wouldn't let them spill. “Percy...how do you feel?”

Percy laughed bitterly. “My friend died in my arms, so I’m feeling a bit under the weather at the moment.” Pike winced at that. Percy instantly regretted his answer. “I'm sorry. It just hurts so much. I feel so helpless, so lost.”

“I know. And we all feel that way. We all blame ourselves for what happened. I'm here for you.” She reached up to pat his back comfortingly, though their difference in height made it slightly awkward. “But I also need to know how you feel physically.”

“You healed my wounds. I feel a little sore, but nothing too bad.” He admitted. He didn't know why Pike needed this information, but he assumed she asked him for a good reason, so he complied. “Though sometimes I feel dizzy...my chest hurts, my vision darkens and I can't breathe. It's like I'm about to go unconscious, but then it all goes away.”

Pike sighed. “I'm so sorry.” Her hands trembled as she entwined them with Percy’s. “There's nothing I can do.”

Percy shrugged. “That's fine. I can manage.” He smiled nervously, not understanding the reason for her anxieties.

“The day after the funeral, when I found you, I had a bad feeling. I went into town to secure the components to test my theory.” Pike took a shuddering breath, working up the courage to tell him of her discovery. “I performed a ritual that allowed me to look into your soul, and I saw the sigil of death. Something cursed your soul, Percy.”

“That's not possible.” Percy shook his head. “I've never heard of such a thing.”

“It’s rare, but possible. It happens when someone is exposed to raw, dark magic for too long. That cave had strange magical properties, and I think its magic chose you as a target.” Pike clutched her holy symbol in her tiny hand. “A curse on the body can be removed, but not a curse on The soul. The mark that I saw...it means you're going to die, and there's no way to resurrect a soul marked for death.” She choked on the last word, then hugged him tightly and didn’t let go.

At first, Percy felt numb. “How much time do I have?” 

“A few months at most.”

The fact sank in slowly, and the numbness replaced itself with sorrow. He held Pike in his arms, gently stroking her hair. He concentrated on keeping his composure, though his blood ran cold with fear. I'm going to die. Until Vax’s death, Percy had never given much thought to the afterlife, but now a million questions nearly burst from his lips. What will happen to me? But that thought vanished as he remembered his promises to his friends, the living and the dead. 

He would fight this. He needed to. He would fight against death and he would win, not for himself, but for his friends, and for the woman he loved.

For Vex.


	7. Raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Percy think about his own mortality, a raven comes to visit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write, even if it was a depressing subject.

Percy sat on the edge of the roof of the house, the darkening sky spread out above him. He watched as the sun set on Exandria once again, admiring the sight. Its glow shone a golden light across the village, illuminating the town in a brilliant display color. He let out a content sigh as he tried to capture this exact moment in his memory, treasuring every small detail in the big picture. Percy yawned, exhaustion overtaking him, but he shrugged off the feeling. He wanted this moment. He needed it. This could be the last sunset I ever see.

During the day, he plastered a smile on his face. He spent time with each member of Vox Machina, giving them love and comfort as best he could, particularly Vex. He couldn't bring himself to tell her of his situation. Pike had promised not to tell the others, saying that the choice belonged to Percy alone, and he had thanked her for that. He fought the curse whenever he felt its effects, pushing it back with all of his willpower, because he couldn't afford to give in. Sometimes he wanted to, when the pain grew too great. He wanted the pain to end, but Vox Machina had lost one member and Percy knew they couldn't bear to lose another. 

Percy didn't fear for his own life. He knew that, though he wanted to live on, he could not be saved. His practical mind wouldn't allow him to entertain the possibility of a miracle, so he accepted his fate and resolved to make the most of the time he had left. He made an effort to appreciate every moment, every minute he spent with his friends, staying strong for them. He laughed with them, he cried with them, he gave them all he had, and yet he knew it wasn't enough. 

He gazed down at the mostly empty streets below. “If I fall, and no one hears me, will I make a sound?” Percy chuckled halfheartedly. He imagined himself, his arms spread like a bird’s wings, tipping over the edge of the roof and tumbling down, pushed by gravity to keep falling and falling until his body slammed against the ground with a crack, blood and shards of bone splattered across the cobblestone streets as his limbs hung limply at his sides and he breathed no more-

“Caw.”

A raven fluttered down from the sky and perched beside Percy. It eyed him curiously, then nudged him with its beak. Percy felt the strange sense that it could read his thoughts. That's ridiculous. He knew that, but still...

Percy stepped away from the edge.

“Caw!”

The raven let out a cackle, lifting its wings and circling Percy a few times. It hopped onto Percy’s shoulder, and he resisted the urge to brush it off. The raven feathers felt cold and smooth against his neck. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax.

“What is it, Vax?” Percy wanted to laugh at himself for talking to a raven. Perhaps insanity was a side effect of the curse on his soul.

“Caw.” The raven croaked and pressed its beak against his skin.

Percy sighed. “I miss you, too. Things just aren't the same without you around.”

“Caw?”

“Idiot. Leaving just when I needed you the most.” He shook his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I'm doing my best, but it hurts. You know that, don't you?”

“...Caw.”

“I'm in love with her, Vax. I will look after her in what little time I have left, for her sake and yours. I only wish I could stay with her longer. She can't take another loss so soon after yours.”

The raven’s eyes glossed over with sadness.

“I suppose I'll be seeing you again soon.” Percy felt a little better at the thought, knowing he wouldn't go alone when his time came. “I'll see you again, and my family, and some of our friends as well.” 

The raven crowed in affirmation, then spread its wings and took to the skies once more. Percy watched as it drifted on the breeze to the one building in town which Percy never dared to visit: the temple of the Raven Queen.

He plastered a smile on his face that looked more confident than he felt. “I look forward to it.”


	8. A Field of Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy confesses his love to Vex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the only truly happy chapter in the story, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Percy waited in a field of flowers outside of the town. He paced nervously, a colorful bouquet in his hand and a certain woman on his mind. He ran through the situation a thousand times in his brain: he would confess his love to her elegantly, give her the flowers, and they would spend their time in each other's arms until death ripped Percy away. A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. He had chosen the prettiest place he saw, and the golden sun shone brightly, bringing the perfect mood. Why isn't she here yet? The thought crossed his mind just as he heard light footsteps behind him.

“Hello, Percival, darling. What's this all about?” Vex turned to face him, dressed in her usual attire with her armor on. To Percy’s knowledge, she hadn't taken it off since her brother’s passing.

He could see so much of Vax in her features, in her dark hair and pointed ears. He closed his eyes and felt the breeze drift through his hair. It was my fault. She deserves better. What if I hurt her, too?

“Percy?” Vex sighed impatiently. “I don't have much time. I promised Grog that I would train with him later, and I can't afford to arrive late.”

He hesitated, then shakily pushed back against his fear. “I'm sorry.” He locked eyes with her and handed her the bouquet. “It's not nearly as beautiful as you, but then again, your beauty is hard to match.”

Vex took the bouquet, turning her face to hide a blush. She bit her tongue and stayed silent.

“Vex, I love you. You're talented and smart and you bring out the best in me. You always have. I can never measure up to any other man, it's true. I've made many mistakes in this life and chances are I'll continue to make many more.” Percy confessed, fumbling his words a little as he did so. “But if you let me into your heart- if you give me a shot, I'll take it, and I won’t let you down. I will defend you to my last breath, Vex’ahlia. I will love you for the rest of my days and all of my eternity.” He leaned in close to her and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. “Will you have me?”

For a moment, no one spoke. Percy fidgeted with his hands, and Vex seemed to stare at something be couldn't see. Her eyes clouded over as she gazed at the flowers, gingerly picking out a single one. She clasped the snowdrop in her fingers, touching the soft petals.

“Oh, Percy.” Vex stepped closer to him and tucked the flower into his hair. A smile lit up her face, a smile no one had seen for a long time. “My heart has always been yours!” She tackled him in a hug, nearly knocking him over. He couldn't help but wonder if true peace felt like this. He had experienced so much hardship throughout his life, and every day reminded him of the blood on his hands. Then Vex came, and joy filled his spirit for the first time, a love that nothing could possibly take from him.

The two lay in the field, holding each other close. He didn't take his eyes off her. He wanted to capture every piece of her in his memory, to give him hope when all hope seemed lost. She took his hand, wrapping her fingers in between his, rubbing her thumb over his scarred knuckles. Gently, he twirled his fingers in her hair, weaving flowers into her braid to accent her features. This is perfect. They stayed in each other’s presence for hours and watched the clouds pass by overhead.

Percy didn't want to ruin the mood, but he needed to say something. “Didn't you have training to do with Grog?” 

“I'm sure he’ll understand.” Vex smirked. “Besides, he's got Scanlan’s nasty little stories to keep him entertained.”

“Um,” Percy stuttered, “About that…”

“What?”

“Scanlan knows what we did at the tavern.” Percy expected an anxious reaction, but Vex burst out laughing. 

“That idiot pervert!” For once, the tears in Vex’s eyes were those of joy.

For a split second, Percy allowed himself to close his eyes, truly satisfied for the first time in his life. He found comfort in the darkness, listening to the birds and the breeze and Vex’s voice. He still refused to tell her, but he relaxed at the thought that he wouldn't die alone, unloved and unforgiven.

The wind ceased, and the birds stopped singing. A hush fell over the field.

“I do love you, dear, but it's getting late. Let's not keep our friends waiting.” 

“Open your eyes. You can sleep later! For now, let's just have fun.”

“...Percy? Why won't you wake up?!”

The sunlight faded.

Then, stillness.

Quiet.


	9. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignorance is bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we're back to angst again :)

It took far too long for Percy to convince Vex to leave him alone.

When he had woken up in his bedroom, Vex informed him that four days had passed since he first fell unconscious. She’d watched over him the entire time, talking to him and waiting for him to awaken. Percy understood, but still was saddened to see the dark circles under her eyes. 

“Percy, what's wrong? Pike said it wasn't her place to tell me.” Vex bit her lip, an anxious habit of hers. “Are you sick?”

“Something like that,” Percy mumbled, “But I'm fine. Don't worry.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, a wave of dizziness crashing over him as he did so. The room seemed to sway in front of him, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself to stand up regardless.

A soft hand on his arm steadied him. “You're not fine. You need to let me know how I can help, darling.” Vex peered at him innocently. “Please.”

“It's just a strong bit of nausea. It should go away soon enough.” He lied smoothly, and he hated himself for it.

Vex looked entirely unconvinced.

“I'll tell you if it gets bad.” He insisted. “Truly.”

“Fine.” Vex sighed. She pulled him into a hug, and he rested his head on her shoulder in response. “I love you so much. If something happened to you-”

“I'm alright!” Percy laughed warmly, ignoring the ache in his heart. “There's no need to be overprotective.”

“Let's hope this sickness isn't contagious.”

“Huh?”

Vex pressed her lips to his. Her smooth skin brushed against his as she traced his scars with her fingertips. He shivered, warmth rushing to his cheeks as his slow heartbeat quickened. She pushed him back onto the bed slowly, smirking slightly as she kissed along his jawline. 

Percy’s body didn't have the self-control to indulge this much longer. “Vex.” He moaned softly. “Gods, Vex, please...”

The door slammed open. “Well, hello, lovebirds. I do hope I'm not interrupting!” Scanlan stood in the doorway, grinning.

Vex scrambled off Percy and shot a glare at the gnome. “I don't remember inviting you in here.” 

“I don't remember needing an invitation.” Scanlan responded slyly.

Percy sat up, holding back a cough as the sickness flooded back into him. “Why is everyone now gathering in my room?”

“Pike sent me here to check that you're still breathing. She's gone out to pray with Keyleth.” Scanlan explained. “As for Vex, I believe she's here to pleasure herself in your bed.”

“I never thought of Keyleth as religious.” Vex commented, ignoring Scanlan’s last sentence.

“Neither did I, but my beautiful Pike thought it would help her. The poor girl’s been a wreck ever since-” Scanlan hesitated. “They're in the temple of Sarenrae.”

“You should join them, Vex.” Percy suggested, seeing the sullen expression on Vex’s face. Every action she took held a hidden sadness behind it, and Percy couldn't stand to watch her wither away. “I'm sure they would appreciate the company, and I'll be sleeping again soon anyway.”

Vex nodded, grief and exhaustion showing in her features. She suddenly seemed too tired to suppress them anymore. “Come with me when you feel better, darling.” She squeezed his hand. “Goodbye, Percy.”

“Bye, Vex.” Percy coughed a few times, but kept on smiling anyway as Vex followed Scanlan out of his room. The door shut with an audible click.

Percy sighed and let his eyes flutter shut. He lay back on the bed and breathed deeply in and out. He loved Vex. This he knew more surely than any other fact, and yet the knowledge only pained him. "I promised I wouldn't leave her." Percy choked back a sob. He could see beyond her laughter and flirtatious comments. She grieved for her brother in every one of her waking moments, and perhaps even more. Her eyes revealed her hurting spirit, and soon she would hurt even more because of his loss. “I'm sorry, Vex. I'm so sorry.” His whisper faded into the air, an apology she deserved but could never hear. They missed Vax. Percy missed the days before the caves, when he could find Vax wherever his twin was and live without blaming himself for his death. The guilt weighed heavily on his heart. He’d suffered too much. His family had suffered and would suffer more. And Vex…there was nothing he could do to spare her from this tragedy. Unless…

Percy opened his eyes, a plan hatching in his mind like gears turning in clockwork. He put on his finest coat and walked out of the room in great strides. He would save Vex, even if he had to travel to the Nine Hells and back to do it.


	10. Hello, Freddie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy goes to the Raven Queen's temple to bargain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for me to update this! My phone wasn't letting me publish any more chapters until I deleted some apps :/

The temperature significantly dropped as Percy entered the temple of the Raven Queen. He entered alone, his body tense and still as he scanned the area for anyone else. With no one in sight, he let out a breath and continued forward. He took in the sight of the dark arcane sigils on the walls and floor. He didn't know what they meant or if they even belonged there at all, since he had never cared enough to research the subject. (He would always ask Vax about it in the past.) A faint light from a sunbeam filtered in through a window in the eaves of the building. The entire place seemed dreary to Percy, as if no one in the temple was meant to feel the slightest measure of happiness.

Percy had always hated the gods. They bickered and fought amongst each other, only intervening in the Material Plane to cause war and destruction. He’d thought of them as arrogant, heartless creatures who expected constant worship and gave nothing in return. Taking in a deep breath of the stagnant air, he did his best to clear those thoughts from his mind. He hated the gods. He hated the Raven Queen. Most of all, he hated bargaining with self-righteous higher powers. And yet, with no other alternative, he was about to do just that.

Percy knelt in the center of the temple, eyes shut and hands clasped together in the overwhelming silence.

“You know why I'm here, Raven Queen.” He gritted his teeth, pushing back anger. “I wish to plead my case and make a bargain. I am here for my lover, because of my friend. You have taken much from them. Please, just this once, I beg of you: show mercy. If not for me, do it for them. Remember the will of your champion.” His words rang out strong in the chamber, echoing throughout his mind and his heart. 

As he held his eyes closed, focused on his prayer, the ground seemed to drop from under him and he felt himself falling into a sea of black, raven feathers surrounding and suffocating his body. The void of darkness swallowed him, and he floated within this realm where nothing but black feathers could be seen and hushed whispers heard. A glow shone from his chest, and he saw a thin golden thread attached to it, light pulsing from it weakly. He watched as the thread seemed to drift into the distance until it entangled itself with another, a thread of obsidian color that gave off no light of its own. A tug on Percy’s thread pulled him forward, raven feathers shifting to provide a path for him until at last he stood before the goddess herself.

The Raven Queen held the two threads in her hands. Her porcelain mask showed no emotion, but somehow Percy knew she hid a twisted smile beneath it. Her black dress flowed into the void, raven feathers spilling from it. When she spoke, Her voice resonated and chilled him to the bone. “Greetings, Percival.” She spun the threads in her fingers. “Welcome to my realm.”

“Raven Queen.” Percy kept his body from trembling as his nervousness returned to him. “The sister of your champion is very dear to me, and I believe she deserves the best. But you allowed her brother to die, as you will soon with me. She grieves his loss so much that she can barely function, and to lose me as well...it would break her.” Percy stood his ground, eyes wide and pleading. “I have not come to bargain for my life, but for her peace of mind. She has suffered so much. Why would you force her to go through this?!”

“Death is my domain, Percival, not life. I cannot control the extent at which she grieves.” Her voice echoed sharply, piercing his soul. “My champion fought well for me, but I had twisted the threads of fate in his favor one too many times. I protected his friends from passing too early, as he wished. He forfeit his life to save them.”

“He did everything for you!” Percy’s anger festered in his heart.

“He did.” A hint of remorse tainted the voice of the goddess. “But he made a bargain in a prayer: to extend their lives at the cost of his own. I honored his sacrifice, and he is at rest now.”

“No!” Percy shouted, his weak attempt at diplomacy gone. “That's not good enough! Everyone is devastated because of you! Show compassion!”

“I have done all I can.” The Raven Queen lifted the obsidian thread in her hands. “But if you will not listen to me, perhaps you will listen to him.” For a split second, the thread flashed with light before regaining its dark aura. A familiar voice called out from behind him, ripping the human’s heart in two.

“Hello, Freddie.”


	11. Thread of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy meets an old friend in the realm of the Raven Queen.

Percy spun around and launched himself into his friend’s arms, tears welling up in his eyes. “I've missed you so much.” He held him close, ignoring the freezing touch of death that lingered on his pale skin.

Apart from that, Vax looked exactly the same as he did before the fatal mission. All of his injuries and scars had vanished, and his body glowed with a radiant light. His face showed no sign of regret, only a gentle kindness and peace that had come to him only in death. He let out a hearty laugh and ruffled the gunslinger’s hair. “You've done well, my friend. Thank you for keeping your promise.”

“It hurts.” Percy sobbed, letting his emotions out all at once. “Why, Vax? Why you?”

“It was their time. Fate had chosen that day as the end of Vox Machina. I would have been the sole survivor.” Vax stepped away. “I knew that the power of the Raven Queen could reverse the fated events. I made a bargain.”

“But you deserved to live.” Percy shook his head slowly. “You deserved to live out your life with us, to grow old with Keyleth and help Vex find her way.” He wanted to rage, to hate Vax for sacrificing himself, but he couldn't. He would have done the same.

“Peace, Percy.” Vax rested a comforting hand on the human’s shoulder. “Death comes for everyone, but it is not the end. One day, it will come for the rest of Vox Machina as it did for me, and I will reunite with them once more.” A wry smile lit up his face. “I guess you could say the afterlife is to die for.”

“How could you crack jokes at a time like this?!” Percy laughed, more out of shock than humor. “Your journey may have ended, but the journey of Vox Machina continues on. We mourn for you, Vax.” 

“I know, and I will continue watching over you,” Vax sighed, “But you will move on. They will move on, and I will stand beside them every step of the way until we meet again.”

“Vex-”

“My sister thrives in your care, Percy.”

“But I'll be joining you soon. What about after?”

Vax paused, sadness crossing over his face briefly. “I will guide you to the afterlife, and Vox Machina will guide her along path forward. She will grieve for a long time, but she will find happiness again, I'm sure of it.”

“How do you know?”

“She's my sister. Of course I know!”

Laughter, then silence.

“I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused.” Vax took Percy’s hands in his own. “Forgive me.”

“Of course.” Percy’s gaze softened. “As for Vex...I will look after her until my time comes.”

“Percy, you're the bravest man I know.” Vax wrapped him in one last hug. “I am so proud of you.”

Percy embraced Vax, closing his eyes until he could no longer feel his body against his own. He turned to the Raven Queen with newfound purpose. “Thank you.”

She spoke not a word in response, but Percy could sense a strong feeling of pity as she pulled on his thread, and the world faded before him.


	12. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy knows what's wrong. He knows that Vex is very perceptive, and he can't hide the problem much longer.

Percy found himself on the floor of the temple, no time having passed during his visit to the Raven Queen’s realm. He headed outside and travelled around the village, greeting a few friends and acquaintances along the way. He felt strangely at peace, like he hadn't a care in the world, even with the ever-present ache in his chest. A raven flew above him, gliding on the swift currents of wind that blew through the town. Percy gave it a knowing smile before he ducked into the doorway of the house of Vox Machina.

Vex welcomed him in with a kiss, warm and passionate. “Percy, are you alright? Where have you been?!” 

“I'm feeling much better, dear. I just had some business to take care of.” He explained, then winked. “I'm not too tired for fun, if you know what I mean.”

Vex giggled. “I'm glad you're okay.” She pulled him closer to her. “What would you say to a date tonight?”

“I think that sounds lovely.” 

“Ew, get a room!” Keyleth, having just walked in, stood frozen in the doorway. She played a teasing look on her face, but Percy saw the hurt in her eyes that could only come with losing the man she loved as she wondered what could have been.

“Of course.” Vex rolled her eyes at Keyleth, then escorted Percy out of the main room and into hers. She pulled off her boots and hopped onto her bed, patting the area next to her. Percy took the cue and sat down.

“Tell me. You can say it, now that I know we’re alone.” Her face suddenly grew serious. “When Pike, Keyleth and I went to the temple of Sarenrae, she came to me in a vision. She told me to treasure you while I have you, and I'm not stupid. I know what she implied.” Vex’s voice shook. “Tell me what's wrong.”

Percy’s eyes darted away. “Forgive me. I didn't want to worry you, or burden you with this knowledge.” 

“W-what knowledge?!”

“I love you, Vex’ahlia, but I don't have long.” He spoke the words as gently as he could. “I have been cursed, and marked for death. I've spoken to the Raven Queen. There's no saving me now.” 

Vex closed her eyes and breathed in and out, trying and failing to calm herself. “No. It's not true. I won't believe it.”

Percy sighed. “It's true.” He kissed her forehead softly, then pulled away.

“Why?” Vex opened her eyes slowly, pools of sadness filled with tears that she wouldn't let fall. “Why would you lie to me? You promised me that you would stay with me! You can't leave me!” She raised her voice until she almost shouted.

Seeing her like this nearly undid Percy completely, hurting much more than the pain running through his body. “I will stay with you as long as I can, but even I can't avoid fate forever.”

“No. Tell me what to do and I'll do it, anything to save you!” Vex cried out desperately.

“Vex.” Percy whispered her name, then leaned in and kissed from her jawline down her neck. He intertwined his fingers with hers, taking in the sensation of her body against his. “Please, don't cry. There's no way to change my future, but right now I'm here, and that's enough.”

“But soon you won't be here.” She choked back a sob. “Percy, don't leave me alone...”

“Perhaps I won't be here physically, but I will live on in your memory and watch over you from the next life.” He held her in his arms, whispering words of comfort in her ears. “The Raven Queen assured me of that, as well as your brother.”

“Y-you saw him? Vax?”

“I did. He's so proud of you, Vex. He's proud of us both.”

“Is he…?”

“He's at rest now. He's not in any pain.”

She released her tears and cried into his chest. He held her until she had cried herself to sleep, the sobs no longer shaking her body. Percy stroked her hair, embracing her tightly until his breathing slowed and his eyes drifted shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read this far, let me know! Any feedback is appreciated.


	13. No More Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy confesses his secret to his friends.

Percy resolved to spend as much of his remaining time as he could with Vox Machina, his living family. He attended dates with Vex on a regular basis, assuring her of his unending love for her every time. He never once showed a moment of weakness or pain, though both flooded through his body and nearly overwhelmed him. Of course, he fought through it, because he needed to, but it would be a lie to say that he hadn't been tempted to give up early. The darkness comforted him, and over time he learned to embrace it.

He knew he had to tell them. Vex told him that they had a right to know, and he reluctantly agreed. Keeping the secret from Vex had done more harm than good. She held his hand as he waited in their house’s main room, rehearsing his words in his mind. Pike waited with him too, compassionate and comforting and sad, and later he thanked her vigorously for it.

His friends entered one by one, unsure as to why he had called them there. Suddenly, he wished he could take it all back, anything to spare them the pain of another loss. He leaned against Vex to steady himself. She kissed him gently in response, then pulled back and nodded. It's time.

Percy gazed upon the confused faces of his friends, his family. If he could, he would have hugged all of them at once, for their sake and his. Since he couldn't, he gathered his courage and spoke the words that would break their hearts. “I'm going to die.” A heavy silence filled the room as he explained his condition and its effects. He watched as his friend’s faces shifted from disbelief to anger to fear, then finally to grief.

The entire time, Vex didn't let go of his hand.

Percy’s friends protested. They shouted and begged and cried, and Percy’s repulsive hatred of the situation struck him again. How could you let this happen, you heartless goddess? Then he remembered Vax’s words in the realm of the Raven Queen and focused on them, allowing them to soothe his soul, if only for a little while. His muscles tensed as Keyleth rushed at him, almost slobbering him in a hug. The others followed suit, each of them touching part of his body until all he could feel was their warmth. They stayed like that for what felt like forever, holding each other until their tears ran dry and Percy stepped back to get some air. A cold pain pierced his heart, then another, and he struggled to draw breath.

His friends watched him, as if waiting for his next move, but he did nothing. Pike took initiative and grasped his hand in hers, the one Vex wasn't holding, and took Scanlan’s hand in the other. Scanlan, for once somber, understood. He placed his tiny palm on Grog’s, and the others joined in themselves until Vox Machina stood hand in hand in a circle of trust. Pike whispered, and Percy recognized the language as Celestial. She spoke in the language of angels and all things divine, channeling radiant energy into her words.

“Sarenrae, you have guided us through so much in our time. Percy and I, and the rest of Vox Machina, are forever in your debt. I am so unworthy, yet still you show me the way.” She paused to collect herself, the next words flowing from her tongue in both elegance and emotion. “Please, give me one last gift, one last chance with my friend. I understand that his path cannot be changed, but he suffers pain which he does not deserve. Please bring him peace as he finds his rest.” The divine energy faded, and a part of Percy’s exhaustion faded with him. The pain in his chest subsided and he relaxed, once again able to draw breath with ease. Vox Machina stayed with him in silent support, not understanding the Celestial words but knowing full well the intention of the prayer.

“Thank you for staying with me, as my friends and my family when I had none. I love all of you, and will miss you dearly.” Percy drew a shaky breath. “When you go back to Whitestone, please pass on that message to Cass as well. Gods know she’s helpless without me.” He chuckled to himself. “Tell her I'm proud that of the two of us, she's the last one standing.”

“We will.” Vex responded quietly. “Is there...anything else? Any final requests?” She choked back tears and clenched her fist, trying her best to stay strong.

“Five days.” He spoke firmly, having thought it over time after time in the past. “A day with each of you, just being together and having a good time. And after that…” He smirked. "I suppose I'll get started on my last adventure."


	14. A Bard's Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy finds Scanlan in the library.

Percy found Scanlan the next day in the local library, furiously scribbling down notes from an ancient text. The gnome had bags under his eyes, indicating a lack of sleep, and his eyes drooped closed as he hunched over a wooden desk. Percy sighed at the sight and set a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Ah!” Scanlan jolted upright, then relaxed as he noticed his friend. “Sorry ‘bout that. Must have been a long night.” He laughed nervously, a subtle hand moving to close the book in front of him. “How’re things, Percy?” He feigned a carefree attitude, grinning foolishly as always, but Percy saw right through it.

“Scanlan.” Percy cut straight to the point. “You're researching the curse on me, aren't you?”

“Guilty as charged.” He glanced down at the book. “I know you said I can't fix it but I...I don't accept this.”

“You know, I said those same words to Vax, before he…” Percy pulled up a chair and sat next to his friend. “I understand. It hurts, so very much. But I can't let you suffer trying to do the impossible.”

“I'm not very good a serious talk.” Scanlan couldn't meet his eyes. “I don't say anything deep or meaningful, because-” His voice broke, and his body shuddered in a sob. “Because my emotions simply can't handle it.” Scanlan’s expression hardened. “But I'll tell you this: Vox Machina, our family, is broken. It's a messed up group of outcasts and friends who do stupid things and depend on each other to do the same. And when times get tough, we make it through, because we have no other choice.” He gritted his teeth before continuing. “And it sometimes we get punched or kicked or stabbed or shot, but it doesn't matter because we’re together, and our broken parts are made whole.”

Percy had never seen Scanlan so lost, so upset. He listened, his face grim as his emotions threatened to overtake him. While the blessing of Sarenrae had taken away his physical pain, his heart still shattered at the sight of his ever cheerful friend weeping before him.

“Without Vax, without you...I won’t be the same.” Scanlan’s piercing gaze met Percy’s. “I'll be broken again.”

“Scanlan.” Percy spoke softly but firmly, with conviction. “You might see yourself as a coward, but truly, you're the bravest man I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. And while you might feel like your life has been torn to pieces, our friends will always be there to help you put those pieces back together again. If there's anything I've learned from Vax, from all of this, it's that nothing is ever lost that cannot be found.” He smirked and have the gnome a friendly pat on the back. “Besides, my spirit will have the best of times haunting you from the afterlife.”

“Shut up.” Scanlan covered his face, wiping tears from his eyes. “You idiot! You think you're all wise just because you're dying?!” He protested weakly.

“No, I think I'll leave the role of the wise guy up to you, old man.” Percy teased, and Scanlan let out a shaky laugh in response.

“I guess there's no arguing with you, is there?” Scanlan defeatedly stood and shoved the book back onto one of the many shelves.

“Did you really think you could change my mind? Nobles are trained for political debates, after all.”

“Whatever.”

Percy shared one last laugh with the bard, ignoring the heavy heart in his chest.


	15. Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grog challenges Percy to a fight.

“Human!” Grog slammed a wooden sword down on the table where Percy sat. “I challenge you!”

“With a sword? Really?” Percy smirked. “You're sure this isn't a mistake?”

“I'm gonna win!” Grog growled, grinning foolishly.

“Alright, big guy. You can certainly try.”

And with that, they took it to the training grounds outside.

Grog rushed at Percy, the training sword swinging almost comically in his goliath fist. Percy sidestepped sharply and countered the blow with one of his own. Grog might hit things harder, but he wasn't nearly as fast as Percy, and the latter used that to his advantage. He spun back as Grog turned to face him, dodging in and out of sight, striking out and then vanishing again behind the goliath’s hulking form. He settled into the rhythm of the fight, always attentive and focused. One hit, then another, doubled back for a third-

_Percy watched as they fought. Even in a practice match they radiated tension. Vax dodged under one of Grog’s heavy blows, disappearing into the shadows and lashing out from seemingly nowhere. He took his friend by surprise every time, matching blow for blow until the match ended. Percy approached him hesitantly. “Um, Vax...that fighting style was incredible. Could you teach me sometime?” Vax offered only a smirk in response._

The memory froze Percy in his tracks. His hands shook, and the sword fell from his grasp. Grog, not noticing the signals, took a heavy swing. His weapon hit Percy like a battering ram, striking him back several feet until he slammed into the ground. A sharp pain spiked up his side where it impacted, and Percy let out a gasp. “Grog...no more.”

“Ha! I win!” Grog cheered. “Get up, Percy, in gonna rub this victory in your face!”

Percy pushed himself off the ground with a wince. “Congratulations, Grog.” Grog’s heavy hand patted him on the back with such force he thought he might fall over again. “You beat me. Good job.”

Grog steadied him as he swayed on his feet, guiding him to a bench, which he thought was a lot more comfortable than hard-packed earth. “You okay, buddy? I didn't mean to hit you that hard, honest.”

“I'm alright, Grog. It's just a scratch.” Percy appreciated the fact that the swords were wooden and not made of metal. The pain receded fairly quickly, leaving only a few bruises in its wake.

“You fought like Vax did.” Grog mumbled.

“He taught me.”

“Oh.” Grog sighed. “I miss having him around. He was a super strong guy...I can't believe he's gone.”

Percy smiled sadly. A moment of silence passed. “Perhaps I could teach you?”

“Really?”

“I could try. The size difference would make things a bit awkward, since you're too large to disappear easily,” Percy chuckled, “But I'm sure you could master the skills with practice.”

“Yeah!” Grog pumped a fist in the air. “This should be awesome!”

“I'm sure it will be.”

Percy passed on the legacy of his friend, feeling a familiar presence beside him with every movement, just out of reach in the shadows.


	16. Druidcraft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keyleth doesn't know how to carry on.

Percy found Keyleth in front of Vax's grave. She sat in front of it, energy flowing from her hands into the ground. The earth beneath her hands shifted and flowers sprouted from the grass, reaching up towards the sky. Her hair spilled in front of her face, hiding her expression.

"Keyleth."

"Huh?" Keyleth cut off the flow of magic And instantly straightened herself up, taking care not to step on the flowers. "Oh. Hello, Percy."

"Pike tells me you haven't left this spot in days. You should go back into town and get some rest, and maybe something to eat." Percy took a step closer to her, a concerned frown on his face.

"I'm not hungry." Keyleth whispered quietly. "And you can go now. I'm fine."

"Keyleth. It's been rough, I know." Percy spoke gently. "You've been so strong for our friends, but you don't have to hide your feelings anymore. Let go."

Keyleth rushed forward and wrapped him in a hug. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It's not fine. None of this is fine. Vax is dead and now you're dying and it's all my fault-" Her voice broke into a sob. "How can I be a good person, a good leader, if I can't protect the people I love?"

"None of this is your fault." Percy held her for a few moments, waiting for her tears to dry. "You're a good person, but even good people can't be perfect. Sometimes things are out of your control. Sometimes, you need to let fate have its way." He gave her a comforting smile. "It's okay. You did all that you could."

"I miss him."

"I know. We all do. He was a great man."

"I loved him."

"And he loved you very much." Percy hesitated, then asked, "Is there something you want to tell him? I could pass on the message when I-"

"Don't say that word!" She burst out, then stepped away, taking deep breaths to calm herself. "I'm sorry, Percy. I really am. Just...tell him I love him, and that I'll live for him until we meet again."

"Consider it done. If there's anything else I can do-"

"You've done more than enough. Thank you." Keyleth sighed. "You know, I blamed you at first."

"We all did."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"...I know. And I understand. I blamed myself for the longest time. I kept thinking that I could have saved him, but in the end, Vax's life was his and his alone; his to sacrifice, his to give away. Nothing anyone could do could have possibly saved him from his stupidly heroic ideas." Percy cracked a smile, and Keyleth chuckled lightly. "I'll give him a hell of a scolding for leaving you, I promise."

"But you're leaving me too." The girl whimpered, turning away. "You're leaving me and you're not coming back this time."

"I've been prepared for this to happen for a while, and even so, I want to leave nothing left unsaid. So I will day this now: you are strong, Keyleth. You are a good friend, person, and leader, and you couldn't lose that goodness if you tried. Vax would be proud."

"Percy…" Keyleth sighed. "Thank you. I think- I think I'll go get some rest, maybe something to eat, like you said. Come with me?"

"Of course." 

Percy and Keyleth left the gravesite and walked into town, the former followed by a raven, the latter leaving behind flowers instead of footprints where she stepped.


	17. Be Happy Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy and Pike have a discussion.

Percy found Pike outside the temple of Sarenrae, playing with some of the village children. He watched as they laughed together, the children's joyful giggles with Pike's half-hearted ones. The kids played until their parents came one by one to take them home. When they all had left, Pike turned to Percy, an exhausted smile plastered on her face, her eyes as tired as his soul.

"I'm glad to see you enjoying yourself, Pike. You deserve a rest." Percy sat on the stone bench beside the temple entrance, his gnome friend hopping up to sit beside him. "You have done so much for me, and I can't thank you enough for it."

"Oh, Percy, you flatter me nearly as much as Scanlan!" Pike chuckled, a real one, not like the false ones she gave to strangers. 

"I would like to think I'm more polite than that silly man." Percy feigned a hurt look on his face before letting out a small laugh of his own. Pike spread joy wherever she went, and he couldn't help but feel all his worries wash away at her presence. 

"Of course you are." The cleric swung her feet, which didn't touch the ground considering the height of the bench. Her voice took on a gentler tone as she asked, "What can I do for you?"

"You've done all I could ever ask for and more." Percy replied. "This time, let me help you. What do you need, Pike?"

Pike startled a little in confusion. "W-well, nothing really. I'm fine."

"I know the grief you're experiencing. Please, don't try to hide it. Just this once, let me be your healer." 

"Quit it with the cheesy lines and I might say yes." Pike teased.

"That's fair."

"Okay. So, there is something…" Pike's voice trailed off, her face flushed. "It's a little embarrassing, though, so please don't laugh."

"I won't." He promised, his voice calm and earnest.

"Scanlan asked me on a date."

"Again?"

"Yes." She cleared her throat. "And I think...I think I'll say yes this time."

Percy raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "Is he blackmailing you?!"

"Goodness, no! It's just- I think he deserves a chance after all he's done for me." Pike explained.

"I see." Percy couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. "Do you love him?"

She considered it for a long moment. "A long time ago, I never would have admitted it, but now…I believe that I do."

"Congratulations. I wish you the best." He winked at her playfully in a flawless imitation of Scanlan, and she burst out laughing.

"Stop it!" She took a few seconds to catch her breath. "Anyway, I need to ask: do you think it's okay?" 

"Hm?"

"To get together in a time like this." She clarified. "To be happy when you, when Vax-" She sighed and shook her head.

"I will always wish for your happiness. You are a good person, you deserve all the good things in this world. As for Vax...I'm sure he would be very proud to see you moving on."

"I'm not sure I could ever move on completely."

"I don't think anyone could. Vax left a void in our hearts that no one could fill."

They sat together for a while, telling stories of their fallen friend, watching as the day disappeared into night.

Eighteen


	18. One Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy and Vex spend one last night together.

Percy opened the door to Vex's room slowly, where she waited for him. He stepped in and found her sitting on her bed, her face turned away from him to look out the window. She didn't turn at the sound of the creak of the door, only gave a small nod to acknowledge Percy. She fiddled with something in her hands. As he moved closer he saw it was the arrowhead he had made for the twins on their birthday last year, one made of the strongest steel and engraved with Vex's name on one side and Vax's name of the other. Percy took a seat next to her on the bed and spent the next few minutes waiting for her to speak.

Vex slowly tilted her face to look at him. Her face spoke in ways that words could not, a crumpled mess of anguish and grief. She pushed herself up off the bed and crossed the room to firmly shut and lock the door. Her hand lingered on the lock for a moment, then returned to Percy on the bed, pressing her lips to his softly.

He felt the warmth of her lips spread throughout his body, and he deepened the kiss, taking her hands in his own. He pulled back only for a quick breath of air before he leaned in to kiss her, sliding his tongue into her mouth as he did so. He tasted her, sweet and delicious and everything he needed. She nibbled at his lip in response, drawing out a moan, squeezing his hands and then slowly moving her fingers across his body. Her fingertips softly drifted across his chest and he leaned into her touch, quivering with anticipation.

"I love you." Vex whispered the phrase over and over again. Percy repeated those words to her, truthful and sensitive. He brushed the tears from her eyes and the hair from her face, removing her braid and watching her hair fall down over her shoulders. She removed his coat gently, planting a kiss on his exposed neck.

Percy closed his eyes as she pulled off his shirt, leaving him bare chested and vulnerable. Strangely, he didn't mind being like this, exposed in front of her. He relaxed, all tension in his body draining as she leaned over him and kissed down his chest. Warmth enveloped him on all sides. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was a shirtless and beautiful version of his Vex, pressing him against the bed and holding him tightly. 

"Vex-"

"Hold me."

He lifted her on top of him, cradling her head in his lap. "Anything you want." He stroked her hair lightly with one hand, tracing the curves of her body with the other. When she shivered, he pulled a blanket over them both and leaned into her, warming her with his body heat.

"Stay with me." Vex pleaded, her brilliant brown eyes locking with his own. "You promised." A tear slipped down her cheek. "I can't lose you. I can't do this, not again."

Percy sighed and squeezed her hand. "You won't lose me, not really. I can't predict the future. I'm not sure what will happen. But I'll watch over you, no matter what."

"Don't leave me." She cried softly. "Stay with me." She rested her head on his chest, listening to his faint heartbeat.

"I will, at least for tonight." He smiled.

"That's not enough! What if I wake up and you're gone?" 

"Then don't fall asleep. Let's make tonight last as long as possible, a night just for us." 

On that night, Vex held onto Percy as tightly as she could, as if she could keep him alive by sheer force of will.

On that night, a cold pain pierced the back of Percy's neck, and he knew that he was holding his lover for the last time.


	19. A Letter For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy writes a letter and visits a friend.

Percy awoke before Vex did. He slid out of her arms, careful not to wake her, and retrieved his clothes. He put them on slowly, finishing with throwing his coat around his shoulders, and quietly left the room. 

"Goodbye, Vex."

He found his way back to his own room. After entering, he walked straight to his desk and started writing on the first piece of paper he could find. The words did not come easily to him, but he fought his way through his tired thoughts. He owed it to Vex, to his friends, so he tried his best.

_ This letter is for you, Vox Machina: my friends, my family in all but blood. I know that I am running out of time, and no amount of time could possibly capture all I have left to say and do. I write this letter as a way to tie up loose ends and say goodbye. Forgive me for not saying these words sooner. May they bring you solace and peace. _

_ Grog, thank you for being my friend. You showed me the meaning of true strength and fought with me against my demons. This means more to me than you will ever know. I leave it to you to protect the others. You were always the strongest one of the group. _

_ Keyleth, I am so sorry. I know how difficult it is to lose a family member, and to lose a lover as well would hurt beyond comprehension. Remember that you are much more competent than you believe you are, and you'll do just fine. When I see Vax, I'll pass along your message. _

_ Pike, I will always believe in you. Know that you deserve to be happy, and I will love and support you no matter what happens. You kept me alive for far longer than I should have lived, and I can't thank you enough for that. I wish you the best. _

_ Scanlan, never stop smiling. You're the oldest of the group, so I'm counting on you to take care of the others. You are their light in the darkest of times. Never forget that. _

_ Vex, I love you. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise. There's a thousand things I wish to tell you, but I don't have the time to write them all down, so I'll write only the most important one: never give up. Do not lose yourself to the darkness as I once did. It will hurt at first, but I need you to carry on for me. You deserve to live the best of lives. Vax and I are so very proud of you, and we will always be there to guide you. _

_ I was richer for having known you. Farewell, Vox Machina. _

_ Sincerely, Percy. _

He finished the letter and stood up, leaving it on his desk where he knew they would find it. The letter sounded a little too formal at parts for those as close to him as his family (as he was a noble and he had been trained to write as such), but he didn’t have the time to be picky with his words. He left the house and stepped out into the street, allowing his feet to guide him along the path he now knew so well. A raven flew above him as he did, his only companion. Percy's body temperature dropped as he walked, as if an icy hand had touched him, and he movements grew more stiff and difficult. After some time, he arrived at Vax's grave.

The raven flew ahead of him and perched on the gravestone. It let out a soft cry. Percy blinked and suddenly the raven disappeared.

In its place was Vax'ildan, sitting on the gravestone and throwing his signature grin in Percy's direction. 

"We meet again, Percy."


	20. Here's to Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vax finds a dying Percy and guides him through his passing.

Percy stood speechless. He had fully expected this and thought himself prepared, but when the moment came, speech failed him.

"Do say something, Freddie, I've missed your company." Vax winked at him mischievously.

"Is this it?" Percy whispered hoarsely. "Is this the end for me?"

"Well, that really depends on how you see the situation." Vax mused, swinging his legs back and forth in a playful fashion. "This is the end of one life and the beginning of the next, the transitioning point between two different planes of existence. Of course, that's just my humble opinion. I can't speak for yours."

"As you're the champion of the goddess of death, I suppose I'll have to agree with you." Percy replied, still a little uneasy about seeing a dead man in front of him. "I must admit, I wasn't expecting it to happen like this. It feels...unnatural."

"You mean dying?" Vax raised an eyebrow. "Death comes for everyone in equal measure. It's the most natural thing in the world."

"I think it's more of a supernatural thing right now." Percy tried for a joke and laughed weakly. Vax laughed with him, and Percy's failing heart ached as he realized just how deeply he had missed that sound.

Vax's laughter faded. "Are you ready?"

"I am." Percy inhaled deeply, cherishing the breath, knowing full well that it was one of his last. "I just wish I had more time." A thought crossed his mind and he willed his fragile heart to stay in one piece. "My sister...she's the last of the de Rolos now. The news will devastate her."

"Would you like to see her?"

The offer took him by surprise. "You mean that's possible?"

Vax grinned and waved his hand. Instantly, the scenery around them changed to that of Cassanda's room in Whitestone. Percy's eyes fell upon his sister, sleeping soundly in her bed. He approached her slowly and rested a hand on her shoulder. Cassandra shivered, shifting a little in her sleep.

"I love you, Cass." He gazed at her sleeping form with compassion. "I love you." He held her hand, warm against his freezing skin, Vax standing beside him in sympathetic silence. 

A moment passed, somewhere between fleeting and eternal in length. He stayed like that with her until he couldn't bear to any longer. He turned to Vax and smiled. "I think I'm ready now. Thank you."

"Of course." The room faded out of existence and they stood by the grave once again. Vax looked down at the grave, surrounded by Keyleth's flowers, and smiled gently. "It's beautiful."

"Keyleth wanted me to pass along a message-" Percy started to explain, but stopped at Vax's knowing expression.

"Thank you, Percy, but I already know. I've been looking out for her as I have you."

"It's good to see you again."

"You'll be seeing more than just me soon enough. Specifically, your parents, most of your siblings, and a certain dragonborn sorcerer."

A sudden rush of nostalgia threatened to overwhelm him. "Tiberius." 

"Yes." Vax held Percy's gaze, his form beginning to shine with an ethereal light.

Percy felt himself drawn to that light, wanting more than anything to dissolve into it, to finally let go, but one last part of him held back. "Vex. Will she-" 

Vax lifted a hand to his cheek, and his worries washed away, replaced by an overwhelming sensation of peace. "We will watch over her." 

Percy smiled one last time as Vax spread his feathered wings and took flight, leaving behind all grief and pain and guiding his soul to rest.

When Vox Machina searched for Percy the next morning, they found nothing but his coat, hanging from the gravestone, swaying in the wind as the flowers grew and life carried on.

_ A raven caws in the distance. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, the final chapter! Sorry it's so sad. I was feeling really angsty when I wrote this. If you read the whole thing, thank you so much! It means a lot. Any and all feedback is appreciated :D ~Indigo


End file.
